futagozadays

hari ini pas line an sama teh nda, begitu sadar, spontan dan mudah nya aku bilang aku terlalu rakus. haha emang bener ternyata memang ini kata-kata yang aku cari dan pas. selama ini... aku kayak ngebohongin diri sendiri tapi ternyata jawaban nya ada di aku sendiri. aku terlalu rakus. atau kasihanilah aku sedikit bilang aku rakus.

aku pengen nya mbe dan aku dalam sebuah hubungan karena aku rakus. aku pengen itu jadinya aku ga enjoy menikmati "hubungan" kayak Teh Nda atau Hesty. soalnya mereka tidak berniat untuk memiliki. dan ini yang bikin aku dan mereka berbeda.

aku gabisa dapetin mbe, so i choose to fix my mind and heart first. it was so messing.. almost years i tried to fix it but i really never have great courage to do that.

and i hit by my friend's pm on her bm. she coppied raisa's song "bye bye"

"Hey Girl,You know you’re wonderful 
If he doesn’t appreciate you  
Then it’s time to say….
Bye Bye…
Say Bye Bye…
Say Bye Bye… 
If he does’nt treat you right
Then who is he to stick around just say good bye.."

after years.. no since i've been close with him.. i always find and try how to help him, try my best to show how the best i can be, i always want to take care of him. loving him~~

but what we can do abt the one sided love? it never works. how strong u try to send it to him, he would never know u ever sent it, because he never felt it. so how he can receive it?

hm.. never.

oke i admitted that my friends around me influenced me abt how he treated me and maybe i should believe at them when they said he just used me. iam like unworthy. like a thing. maybe u cute to see but in deep your heart u already fell to another thing, so as long is cute and as long as it free u can use it.

maybe that is me in his shoes.

i just need to know his sincereness toward me.

i always wish u happy with yours. i do. 

so from now on, i'll be happy too. trust me :D

and always wish me, Yeaaaaaaaaaaay~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~